Dreams and Nightmares
by Kioa
Summary: Dedicated to Ammeh: Thomas could only jealously stare at the happiness John Smith and Pocahontas felt. He wanted that happiness for himself, with John Smith at his side...
1. A Dream Come True

Title: Fanservice

Author: Mai Lynn

Started: May 29

Finished: May 29, 2005

This is for you, Ammeh. John/Thomas slash! Of course, it's AU, since Thomas isn't gay, but oh well! –grins-

Mnyar------------

Thomas sighed as he rounded the bend in the settlement. It was his third night on patrol, and it was as dull as ever. Yawning, he took of his cap and scratched his red hair slightly before putting it back own. Frowning, he rubbed his fingertips together. They slid easily from the grease in his hair.

'I'll need a bath pretty soon….' He thought with a sigh. Stretching, he leaned against the massively sturdy wall. The sounds of the party were dying down. It was John's first night back from England, after his two year absence. Thomas smiled as he remembered everyone's surprised faces as John leisurely strolled into the settlement. Everyone had dropped what they were doing to greet the much loved blonde captain.

"John's back, John's back!" Had rung throughout the settlement, it had even reached the Indian village within an hour…. Thomas couldn't help but smile sadly. He had seen how joyously Pocahontas and John hugged each other. How happy the two of them looked, and how long they had kissed.

He felt his cheeks grow hot at the mere thought of a kiss. Lifting his hand, he gently brushed his fingertips against his lips and shivered a bit. Closing his eyes, he could just image what it would be liked to be kissed by John. Those strong arms wrapped tightly around him, his gentle breath upon his neck. Thomas found himself smiling faintly.

"Looks like a nice dream there." The deep voice that Thomas could recognize anywhere suddenly spoke up. Startled, he leapt from the wall and looked at John with wide eyes. The blush furiously flamed his face and he could hear himself stutter.

John only laughed, "Now now, Thomas. Calm down. Heh, I'm not a ghost or anything."

"Y-Yes, I know John. S-Sorry, surprised me, is all….." Thomas sheepishly smiled. Swallowing heavily, he scratched the back of his neck, "Heh, well, I'm glad to see you're back and healthy again John."

"Thanks Thomas, it's good to be back." John gave Thomas a smile, that certain smile that Thomas had always admired, "So what've you been up to?"

"Oh, nothing really. The new governor keeps us busy, but it's all fun. At least the fort's good and safe and-"

"Thomas, you've been really skitty since I've been back. Anythin' wrong?" John stepped a bit closer, leaning against the wall. Thomas only took a timid step back as he forced a laugh.

"Nothin's wrong, John." He could very well understand John's worrying. The entire day, Thomas had stood afar, staring at John and Pocahontas. He knew his face was probably burning with jealousy, no matter how much he had tried to conceal it.

'John probably saw that…..' Thomas couldn't help the sad smile, 'He's probably thinking that I'm jealous over him and Pocahontas….'

"Really? I couldn't help but notice that you were staring at me and Pocahontas all day with the look of a jealous man." John kept his voice a bit nonchalant as he glanced at Thomas. The red haired man had become silent as he stared at the ground. Gritting his teeth, he looked up at John and put on another of his fake smiles.

"It's alright," He said with difficulty, "It's not that I'm jealous over the two of you. I mean, while I am a bit lonely, it's not as though I love her." I love you…..

"Her? Thomas, you had barely looked at Pocahontas the entire evening." Thomas felt his wide eyes stare at John in shock, "Most of the time, I felt your eyes on me. Much like how they are now." Thomas found John Smith's beautiful blue eyes staring straight into him. Blushing once again, Thomas took a step back. He was mirrored by John.

"Thomas, you were looking at me all day with this intense look." There was another step, echoed by a heavier set, "That look that men often get when they see something they want being taken away- with jealousy and fear and bittersweet sadness." To Thomas, the words sounded like poetry in his ringing ears. What was John doing? The man found his back pressed against a hard tree, the rifle in his hand forgotten.

"John…. I….." Thomas started. Alas, his voice faltered as he found the body that he so wanted to touch was within arm's reach. No, now it was pressed up against him. His breath caught in his throat as he stared at the chest of John, of the one he so direly lusted for.

He felt the hard calloused hand gently touch his chin, lifting the face upwards. Thomas felt his stomach twist and turn in several directions as a pounding sound echoed throughout his ears.

"John..." He whispered just as those lips came in contact with his. Inhaling sharply, Thomas immediately pressed his lips hungrily against John's. And much to his delighted surprise the man responded by pressing back just as hungrily. Moaning into it, Thomas felt a fiery passion that he had only experienced in his dreams. His arms shakily moved on their own, trailing over John's strong hips and to his back, where he clutched the shirt to keep himself standing.

However, John pressed his hips into Thomas' pinning the younger man against the tree. Opening his mouth, Thomas was about to say a few words, but John's tongue entered it, sending the red head into quite the lustful moan. It felt so delicious as the muscle trailed over his teeth and gums, leaving Thomas' knees weak.

Finally, John was merciful and released Thomas from his passionate kiss. Grinning, the man's lips traveled once again toward Thomas' face. But instead of catching the lips, he caught the nape of the neck, sending awkward moans and pleas chasing out of Thomas' throat.

"J-John….." He gasped into the night air just as the large hands began to trail across his waist and stomach.

"Shhhh….." He murmured against the skin, his tongue slowly dragging along it. Thomas gasped, squirming as John pulled back slightly, "We'll both enjoy this." He whispered as he gently took Thomas into his arms and laid him on the ground. The blushing man nodded, his eyes half closed as his heavy breathing was the only reply. John chuckled as he kissed Thomas' lips once more, his hands sliding underneath the green shirt to gently caress the skin.

Moaning, Thomas arched his back to the pleasurable touches, his hands gripping John's arms. Soon, the older man smoothly stripped the two of them. Now shirtless and free to the night air, Thomas' sensitive skin was all for the taking to John's lips, hands, and tongue. The red head panted and squirmed on the dirty ground, very much enjoying the special attention from John Smith, the man of his dreams and nightmares.

Mnyar----------------

I hope you enjoyed! Yes, I know, it's left off so evilly, buanana!


	2. A Dream Shattered, then Reborn

Keh keh keh, yins wanted me to continue, thus! A plot is born. And holy shit, what the hell is the black haired dude and the red haired dudes names are!

Y'know what their names are? William and Audrey. End of story.

Mnyar-----------------

Thomas gasped as John's hands touched his skin. Oh, how it felt so good after so many deceiving dreams. This felt surreal as he laid on the earthen ground, naked against the man of his dreams and nightmares.

'How is this happening?' Thomas thought, arching his back as John's tongue toyed with his abdomen, 'I…… Oooh, I can't believe it.' Closing his eyes, he panted heavily into the air, squirming as John rested on top of him.

"Dreams can be so nice." John whispered, kissing Thomas' lips. The younger man blinked in confusion as he looked to the blonde.

"I guess….." He replied unevenly as John trailed his fingers around Thomas' neck.

"They feel so real that you could've sworn it was actually happening." As John spoke, Thomas suddenly felt a sharp twist of nervousness in his stomach, "Like right now for instance….. This can all be a dream."

Thomas felt the sharp pain intensify as he swallowed heavily, "……So this is a dream." He whispered.

"But you're enjoying it."

"I was….." He rolled his head to the side, pulling his arms to him as he began to sit up. John chuckled softly as he gently pushed Thomas back down.

"In Pocahontas' village, they say that dreams are oftentimes premonitions of future events. Why not simply enjoy the rest of this and see if you can make it actually happen?" John questioned, his lips ghosting over Thomas' neck. The red head shivered, but shook his head. His stomach and chest hurt so much.

"I can't take another dream like this…. I…. Just let me go into darkness and stop dreaming about what I can't have." His voice was still a disappointed whisper. He couldn't raise his voice any higher. John gave him a sympathetic smile as he kissed the younger man's lips gently and slowly faded into the shadows.

--Yay for Sleeping-----------------------------------

Sunlight made the stuffy tent seem as though the sides and ceiling were glowing as Thomas slowly woke up. Rubbing his eyes, the 20-year-old sat up in his cot. Looking around, he saw that most of the men were already off to breakfast. Sighing, he ran a hair through his short hair with an upset frown.

'I can't take it anymore….' He thought, closing his eyes tightly, clutching his hair. This was reality, John was still in England, and he was stuck here with the new governor. While his dream was pleasant, it lied about a certain someone.

The work they had to do was definitely NOT fun, and the new governor was decidedly NOT a pleasant person. Slowly getting dressed in his green tunic and brown Indian pants that Pocahontas made for him, Thomas exited the tent after grabbing his hat.

Entering the unfiltered sunlight, he narrowed his eyes against it. Looking around, he saw how much Jamestown fort was actually beginning to look like a town. Currently, they were building houses to live in, the tents in their center where they were sure to build a well or something of equal importance. Looking at the high wooden fence, Thomas could practically taste the corn, squash, and other vegetables on the other side.

Feeling his stomach growl in apprehension of a meal to come, Thomas walked over to a long tent with no sides. Grabbing a plate, he got some bread and a few corn cobs before sitting down. While corn was definitely an alternative to their usual bread and soggy soup, the vegetable was beginning to lose its charm.

"Oi! Thomas ol' boy, when were ya gunna git up?" The Scotsman spoke from the table. Thomas smiled a little and went over to sit beside him and their sarcastic black haired friend.

"I'm up, see?" He took a bite out of his bread as the black haired man, named Audrey, handed him a black coffee.

"There ya go, some coffee t'git ya up 'n awake. Th' gov'nor is wantin' t'see ya after breakfast." Audrey said with a shake of his head. Thomas looked slightly surprised as he nodded a little.

"I wonder why….?"

"Prolly 'cause how ya've been, ladie." The Scotsman, William, spoke.

"How've I been?" Thomas repeated, frowning in confusion. The two men exchanged glances before giving the young man an unknowing gaze.

"Well, ye've been jes daydreamin' more 'n more each day." William said.

"Yeh, we've been worried 'bout ya." Audrey patted his back, "An' I guess th' gov'ner saw that too and wants t'see ya." Thomas nodded slowly as he finished his meal and stood up.

"Well, better get it over with." He smiled as he walked from the tent. Going over to the only house that was erected; The Governor's House. Wandering why in the world the greedy man would want, Thomas knocked on the door.

A muffled 'come in' slid through the door. Opening the heavy oak, he stepped into the house. It was lit with candles and the light from outside. Looking around, Thomas found the governor in his study.

"You wished to see me, sir?" He asked, standing in the archway. The governor looked up with a grin.

"Please do come in, Thomas. I would hardly wish for you to be shy around me." He chuckled, "I hardly bite." Thomas smiled nervously and nodded, stepping into the somewhat darkened room. It was filled with books. A few of the books were stacked on the large desk of the governor, where a single candle burned and behind the flame was the governor himself, reading over a few texts as his glasses reflected the flame of the candle.

The governor was a younger man, in his mid twenties. His raven colored hair spilt over his shoulders. Thomas sometimes thought that if Pocahontas and the governor were to have a contest over whose hair would be longer, the governor would be the victor.

Cold blue eyes scanned over Thomas as he smiled, "It seems that you have been rather occupied as of late. Pray tell, is anything the matter?" The heavy British accent made Thomas feel uncomfortable as he shook his head.

"No, I'm just fine…. Bad dreams is all."

"Bad dreams? Hm…. I believe that dreams can be interpreted as," The governor paused, looking thoughtful, "Premonitions. Whether they are bad or good, it hardly makes a difference." Thomas stiffened slightly.

………_."In Pocahontas' village, they say that dreams are oftentimes premonitions of future events."………._

Swallowing, the young man nodded absentmindedly as the governor continued, "So what happened in these dreams of yours? I dwindle slightly with the supernatural, perhaps I can be of assistance."

Thomas blinked and looked to the governor with wide eyes, "Th-The supernatural?" He asked, thinking, 'Is he a witch?'

"Ahaha, why yes, Thomas. I believe in knowing all aspects of human life, even if it includes reading upon something that could perhaps be considered dangerous. Such as witchcraft." The governor held up the book he was reading, "This, for instance, speaks of how witches learn to use the earth to predict climate changes and the like. That is hardly a tool of evil."

"But….. The rumors of spells, and of-"

"Are nothing more but superstition Thomas. Are you at the age where even the smallest of misunderstanding turns into the largest of fears?" The young man shook his head, eyes gazing to the ground, "Hm….. I suppose it would be unreasonable to ask you to shed all of the fear that you had grown up with. Nevertheless, if you have any disturbing dreams and wish to speak of them, I am and always will be available to assist you." The governor placed his book down as he looked to Thomas with his frosted gaze. The red head found himself shaking his head as he replied.

"I can't remember them much, I don't think it's anything to really be afraid of…. Just childish nightmares, I guess." His voice was low and slightly shaky, just as when he was talking to John in his dream.

"Very well, please do exit then and resume your work. You and the men are doing a very good job in helping build this fort into an actual town. If you finish soon, I am quite sure that we'll start getting residents from home….. Perhaps a few hunters as well." The governor stated subtly as he resumed reading his book.

Thomas nodded a little, eyes wide. Hunters…. John! Exiting the house, he found himself thinking of his blonde hero. Those wonderful eyes, his deep magnanimous voice, that silken blonde hair….. The young man found himself yearning for the dream he had left.

'But it's just that- a dream. He loves….. _Her_. Pocahontas. And….. Loving a man, it's just as bad as witchcraft…..' Thomas was so deep in thought that when he returned to the breakfast tent, he hardly noticed that it was empty. When he sat down, however, and looked around, he then realized that no one was near.

Slowly standing, the red head walked away from the table and searched through Jamestown. Not knowing why, he felt his heart suddenly start to pound and his legs become shaky. Exiting the fort, he looked in the fields. No one was there either. The tools were left alone, both in the fort and in the field.

With his breath catching in his throat, Thomas looked around the fort carefully, using the large wooden fence to support himself. No one was around the fort….. That meant….

The red head found himself running back into the fort and through the still being built town. Gasping for air, a grin slowly began to form on his face as he sped through the dirt. Coming out of the front gate, he stopped short, skidding to a halt.

Before Thomas lay a few saplings of small trees and bits of flowers here and there. Beyond the foliage, there was the somewhat large expanse of sand. The men of Jamestown were on that sand, leaping and shouting at the top of their lungs at a distant figure in the ocean.

A ship.

Mnyar----------------------------------

-gasp- What in the world! A plot with an original character that hopefully people who have read my original fiction know about! Anyway, for those who know the governor, don't worry, I have him on a short leash. He will obey….. Hopefully. –cough- Anyway, yeah, thanks for the reviews! Without them, there wouldn't be a second chapter. And a third, fourth, however many there will be….


	3. A Dream so Painful

-cough- So… HI! Updating is nice after four months of nothing, no?

Oh, yeah. I'm sorry about naming the black/red haired men wrong. I didn't know about Wikipedia until only two months ago. –laughs- So! William and Audrey and two NEW guys who are just as bad ass and happen to be almost exactly like the other two. . 

Mrow------------------------------

When they first saw the large ship with billowing white sails, the men of Jamestown were ecstatic.

When they saw a figure standing on the edge of the ship, the men of Jamestown were impressed.

Moreover, once the ship came in so close that the faces of the men on the approaching vessel were visible, the men of Jamestown went ballistic with joy.

John Smith was back.

Thomas' eyes were impossibly wide and a large grin began to spread on his face. No matter that he had experienced the lustful dream last night and had just spoken to their suspicious governor; John Smith had finally come back to the New World.

"John!" the lithe man was amongst the others eagerly shouting their captain's name, leaping on the sand while a few even ventured into knee deep water. The blond on the ship waved to them just as eagerly as they were to him.

Thomas was filled with complete happiness. John was coming back to Jamestown! Much adventure was sure to happen as well as fun conversation and terrific-

_Pocahontas_.

The young man stopped in mid-wave as he realized that the bay couldn't be seen from the Indian village. His heart sank as he realized that one of the first people John would seek out would be Pocahontas. Looking down at the sand, he set his lips.

'I have to get her… For him,' he reflected. Clenching his teeth, the red-head turned and began sprinting up the short hill. Running past the fort, Thomas tried not to feel disappointed. After all, those two shared a special bond that he would probably never have with anyone. Even if his dreams were pleasant but wrong, they wouldn't happen in a thousand years.

A man could never love a man, especially if one of the men is already in love.

Panting, Thomas picked up his pace as he ran through the trees, following the almost invisible path that Pocahontas had shown him before. The young man thought of her, the Indian princess who had saved her village as well as the men in the settlement.

She truly was an amazing woman. John deserved her, and she deserved him. Thomas briefly closed his eyes tightly, willing himself to stop thinking in that manner. It was doing nothing but depressing him despite the joyous event that was surely happening without him.

Just then, he heard a startled animal cry as his foot collided with something furry. Thomas gave a yelp as he began to fall towards the ground. He winced, anticipating the ground hitting him. He, however, surely did not anticipate the sudden jerk as his fall was halted by a strong arm wrapping around his waist.

Holding his hat onto his head, the young man looked up to see a familiar, dark skinned face. He smiled, laughing a bit as the native helped him get back to his feet.

"Uhm, thank you," Thomas bowed his head slightly, laughing at little. The man in front of him had blue stripes down his shoulders and arms, with a red moon on his left bicep. The native smiled as he spoke in his broken English.

"You welcome." Thomas felt guilt sting him- he had forgotten what this man's name was. Scratching his hair, his mind searched rapidly for the name. It began with a 'D'…

He gasped and smiled, pointing to the native, "Ah, thank you Dyami!"

The native laughed, pointing to Thomas in the same manner, "Thomas!"

The young man could feel his face flush as he quickly put his hand down with a small apology. There was a moment of silence where Thomas was about to ask where Pocahontas was, until something began to crawl up his leg. Thomas cried out, jumping a bit. But when a well-known grey face nuzzled into his shirt, he laughed and pulled the animal out of his clothing.

"Sorry Meeko, no food," he petted the unhappy raccoon as Dyami took the animal from Thomas' hands.

"So what Thomas here?" Thomas was used to that question; some of the natives were eager to learn the new language that the white man had brought. Most of them generally confused 'why' with 'what'.

The young man's smile wavered slightly, "I need to see Pocahontas."

The native's face became grave as well and Thomas felt like hitting himself. Dyami obviously mistook his expression as one of terrible news. The young man quickly smiled to him, hastily adding, "I want to tell her that John Smith is back home!"

He knew that the native couldn't understand all of that English, but the second Thomas had said 'John Smith', Dyami's eyes lit up as a large smile came to his face.

"John Smith! Come! I take you Pocahontas!"

As soon as the native began to run, Thomas knew that he'd have to do everything in his power to keep up. Pocahontas' people were much better at navigating the tricky forest. Not wasting another moment, Thomas took off in pursuit of the man. He felt kind of proud of himself as he seemed to be keeping up.

In no time, they arrived into the village. Thomas smiled, feeling a bit awkward and out of place. Dyami skidded to a halt in front of a large fire.

"Pocahontas!" was the only word Thomas understood from Dyami's hurried speech. The young man smiled to Pocahontas, however, and waved to her. Pocahontas waved back to him, but her expression suddenly changed to shock when 'John Smith' came out of Dyami's mouth.

She abruptly stood, gripping his arm. The beautiful woman opened her mouth, then quickly looked to Thomas.

"John Smith is back?" she asked, seeming to not believe the good news. The smile on Thomas' face was forced a bit as he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach.

'Don't feel that way. This is _right_… No matter how jealous I might get.' He reminded himself as he replied aloud, "yes. John Smith was aboard a ship that had just come into harbor."

The smile and the glow in the native's eyes were unmistakable. Thomas forced his smile to get wider as he took a step back, waving her on.

"Well? C'mon, let's go see him!" his voice sounded fake to him, but if Pocahontas noticed she did not comment. Instead, her smile grew wider as she quickly began to sprint. Thomas smiled to Dyami as he waved good-bye to him and immediately followed Pocahontas.

Unlike his short run with Dyami, Thomas couldn't catch up to Pocahontas. Much too soon, he could not even see the native anymore. Gasping for air, the young man slowed to a halt.

Placing a shaking hand against a tree, he bent forward slightly. He could feel the sweat all over his skin and the back of his shirt clinging tightly to him. Swallowing briefly, he wondered what was happening right now.

He could imagine the happy faces and John's voice roaring over the rest to say something along the lines of 'I'm home, boys!'. Thomas' lips pulled into a smile as he stood up, still using the tree for support.

'Yeah, an' Audrey and William will surely be climbing over everyone. They've never met John before…' the two men whom Thomas had grown to love as brothers came about a few months after John had left. The two of them were forced to listen to nothing but stories of the amazing John Smith.

As the adrenaline began to finally settle down and Thomas could properly breathe again, he began to walk along the path. His thoughts were heavy as he reflected on how John Smith and Pocahontas would have met…

Thomas could picture the scene; Pocahontas' tears rolling down her face while John Smith pushed the cheering men out of his way. His arms would open wide as she would rush to him. How their lips would meet in a fevered kiss as they embraced.

He flinched, unable to imagine anymore. It hurt a lot more than he would have liked. Thomas paused in his walking, hitting his head with the heel of his hand.

'Why do I keep _doing_ this?' he berated himself. 'John is my _friend_ and so is Pocahontas! I should be happy about them seeing each other! This… This nonsense of me wanting him must stop. It's not right.'

Biting his lip, Thomas forced himself to walk. With each step, however, the young man found that he truly did not want to venture into that happy circle, where the men adored John Smith and John Smith loved Pocahontas. He felt that his unhappiness would be completely noticeable, and he truly did not want to worry anyone.

Especially on such a happy occasion.

Gritting his teeth bitterly, he began to take the path that would lead him back to the fort. Perhaps if he concentrated on working, he'd be rid of this depression that had seemed to take a hold of him. This wasn't him and John would be sure to pick up on it.

Entering the fort after a few more minutes of walking, he noticed that it was still empty. Thomas remembered vaguely his half eaten breakfast. Heading over to the table, he picked up a biscuit. His stomach gave a twist and so he placed it down.

"Having trouble there, Thomas?" the recognizable voice spoke up directly behind him. Thomas gave a cry, jerking around to see the governor behind him. He swallowed, offering a shaky smile.

"N-No sir."

"Then might I inquire as to why you are not down at the bay, basking in the glory of John Smith's return?" the black-haired governor's flowery way of speaking unsettled Thomas mysteriously as he bit his lip.

"Uhm, that is… I-I'm still a bit… Hungry…" he finished the sentence lamely. The governor chuckled, pulling down his glasses slightly to give Thomas a doubting glance over.

"You choose food over the very man you and our entire fort has been talking about endlessly for these past two years?" he questioned.

Thomas nodded, offering a light chuckle, "G-Guess so?"

The governor straightened, staring down at Thomas, "Your comrades will not take that pitiful excuse lightly. I wager they would take great offense. Especially… John Smith." The way the creepy governor said 'John Smith' made Thomas' flesh crawl. He shivered, feeling uncomfortable as he nodded.

The governor was right; no matter what excuse he had, no one would believe him. He bit his lip, scratching the back of his head as he looked to the ground.

"Well," the man in front of him spoke up after a minute of silence. "Fortunate for you, I had kept you in my office for quite the long amount of time. Thus preventing you from hearing of the joyous news of John Smith's arrival."

Thomas blinked, looking up at the man, "I'm sorry?"

The governor offered a feral smile as he turned and began to walk back towards his house, "Come, Thomas. You shall assist me in my quarters until the population returns. No doubt, John Smith would head directly to me. That way, you shall be able to avoid any and all unnecessary hatred aimed towards you for missing the epitome event of this year."

The young man was slightly confused as he followed, "You mean… I should help you in your office? Then no one'll get mad, right?" The governor's words really were confusing.

He heard a chuckle in front of him as the governor's adorned fingers grasped the handle of the door, "Of course. After all, you probably were not even noticed…" He opened it, motioning for Thomas to enter.

The red-head did stepping in fully to allow the governor to enter. Thomas bit his lip.

"Uhm, that won't work," he ventured forth unevenly. The governor turned to him, arching a brow.

"Oh?"

Thomas nodded, "I had gotten Pocahontas. To tell her of the news." He tried to ignore the stabbing pain in his chest.

The governor placed a finger to his chin, seeming to think a moment. He then brightened, taking a few steps towards Thomas as he leaned closer. The young man found himself leaning away when the governor did so.

"Then after you had informed Pocahontas of John Smith's return, I had immediately called you here. This is not further from the truth. And," the governor added as he moved away and to his desk, "all blame shall be shifted from you onto me. I say that would be a fair deal."

Thomas took a step forward, looking confused, "But-"

"Nonsense," the man sat behind his desk as he replied. "I am doing this because I wish to. Now then, perhaps you can possibly straighten my novels over there?" He pointed to a messy stack of papers and books in the far corner. Thomas looked over, then back to the governor.

He offered an awkward smile, "Thank you, sir…"

The governor only returned the smile, only his lacked the awkwardness and was slightly more predatory, "Please, refer to me as Augustus."

Mrow-----------------------------------

Ha ha! Well, Augustus finally said his name, that dumb bastard. Anyway, I'm trying to keep all of this from Thomas' POV. I will not change it, no matter how much John Smith likes to take center stage. –stabs John-


	4. A Dream of a Kiss

Oo I started this in May of 2005. Now it's April of 2007. **2007**. WTF, has it seriously been that long with only four chapters?!

Ah, well. Here's some more! Perhaps the last?

Mnyar---------------------

Rearranging the governor's- er, Augustus'- novels was a bit more complicated than Thomas had first thought.

The beginning task was to see exactly where most of the novels belonged. Thomas picked up a few papers, ruffling through them. He blinked, looking at them a bit harder as he noticed something. They were all torn pages… out of different novels!

The young man looked at the table loaded with books and loose-leaf papers, along with the piles covering the nearby floor, with dread. He'd have to search through each novel in order to find the appropriate home for the loose papers. And then he'd have to arrange the books by author. Thomas inhaled a bit as he rolled up his sleeves and set to work.

Thankfully, the business of finding where the pages went to left little room to think about the commotion happening at the bay. Occasionally, the thought of the two lovers embracing would enter Thomas' mind, but he quickly adverted his gaze to a novel and immediately purged his thoughts.

'This isn't right, this isn't right,' he kept telling himself.

"I believe he will visit this office shortly. It has at least been an hour since his arrival." Thomas blinked and looked over at Augustus, shocked. An hour had already gone by?

"Sir?" he questioned, scratching his head. Augustus gave him an unnerving smile as he elegantly gestured towards Thomas.

"You have been working diligently for almost an hour now, Thomas. Take a gander at your surroundings to fully notice how immersed you were with straightening my novels," Augustus smiled as he sat back in his chair, placing a few fingers to his chin in thought. "Though, I am very grateful for such hard work."

Thomas looked about himself, realizing that he was sitting on the floor, novels and loose leaf paper in slightly messy piles all around him. He looked at the novel in his right hand, an unnamed black book, and at the appropriate papers in his left. The man sighed a bit and put the papers into the book, setting it down on one of the neater looking piles.

'I guess once one is lost in thought… time flies by,' he mused just as the door of the governor's office opened after a loud knock. Thomas' eyes widened as he stared while Augustus languidly stood.

John Smith strode into the room, his usual coy smile on his face. The man's godly body was adorned with a beige shirt and loose-fitting black pants tucked into black boots. His blond hair was the same, albeit slightly longer. If anything, it seemed to look even more striking than before. Brimming with mirth, John's sparkling blue eyes looked wonderful.

'Eyes don't sparkle,' Thomas reprimanded himself as he also stood, but with less grace than Augustus as a few books were knocked over in the process.

He winced and immediately bent down, "ah, sorr-"

"Thomas!" John's enthused voice rang out as he quickly moved over. He grabbed Thomas' upper arm and pulled the younger man to him with incredible ease. Thomas' eyes widened as John gave him a quick, rough embrace. Parting as soon as he had pulled the man into his hug, John took a step back as he slapped Thomas' back.

"Hey! Been two years, now has it? How've you been, Thomas?" The man's smile was contagious.

"Gr-Great, how 'bout you John?" Thomas smiled back to him. The blond laughed.

"Starved! But that's beside the point, how come you didn't come back with Pocahontas?" Thomas tensed and quickly adverted his gaze from the friendly John Smith. Jealousy would be a horrible answer to the question. Thomas bit the inside of his cheek as he felt John's hand on his shoulder. "Thomas?"

"Ah, I believe I would be at fault for this," Augustus spoke up, walking over to the two men. Thomas felt a bit of relief as John turned to him, his hand slipping off of Thomas' shoulder.

"You must be Augustus McClain, the new governor here," John smiled to him, sticking out his hand. "The men told me that you've been doing a stand-up job." Augustus simply smiled to him, keeping his hands to himself.

"Well, I do my best. I must admit that I am awfully surprised that they took time to tell you of me."

John laughed, letting his hand fall back to his side, "ah, well. Had 'bout two dozen or so men talking at once. Picked up things here and there. So now." The man clapped Thomas' shoulder, who tilted a bit under the sudden weight. "Why'd you keep Thomas back here instead of out with the others?"

"My novels were in dire need of a good straightening. The young man here was very kind in heeding my request," the black-haired man slowly walked back to his desk, sitting down in his chair. John gave a small thoughtful frown as he followed him, and Thomas, despite telling himself not to, followed John.

"I'm sure that could've waited, Mr. McClain."

Augustus gave a clipped smile. "Indeed. But please, do refer to me as Augustus. I do so hate impersonal titles." John glanced at Thomas, who simply returned the glance with a small shrug. Apparently, the men didn't tell John about how eccentric Augustus was.

"Very well. I-"

"I believe we have a few matters to attend to first, before you may reclaim your man, John Smith." Augustus interrupted him and Thomas swallowed at being referred to as John's "man". Honestly, this new governor was quite odd.

The blond paused a bit, seeming to regard Augustus carefully. The moment was fleeting as John grinned, "alright. That's why I came into here anyway. So what's been happening in good ol' Jamestown since I've been away?"

"For one, we have remained true to the nearby natives, and have been peacefully living side-by-side. We barter for food and goods from them, all reasonably I assure you," the man sat back in his chair, elbows on the arms as he folded his hands in front of him. "The men labor away at building the town. We've finished ensuring that the outside fence will be safe, with healthy crops that we tend to ourselves."

"Good, good. I was afraid of eating more horrible ship food," John winked to Thomas who gave him a small smile back. Sometimes, John's humor was not that funny.

Augustus arched a thin eyebrow before resuming, "now we are busy building houses for the men here to live in. Everyone here dreams of the day they can send for their wives and children; with the exception of a few individuals with certain reasons, of course." He smiled to Thomas and the red-head felt the color drain from his face.

'He… he must know,' the young man thought with horror. Why else would Augustus word his sentence like that? John looked at the governor with confusion, then at Thomas.

"Certain reasons?"

Augustus waved his hand, as though the matter wasn't important. "Personal reasons mostly, John. Along with the houses, we plan to build a well in the center, to utilize the water from underneath the ground. Retrieving water from the native's streams and rivers is a bit tiresome to drag back and forth daily, you see." John nodded and Thomas was relieved to see that the man had forgotten about what Augustus said earlier.

"Alright. It seems that you have everything in order," John nodded again, smiling this time. Augustus returned his smile.

"Yes, John Smith. You left good men here in Jamestown. And good men they still remain to be. Of course, we will have a few fights here and there, but that is normal behavior for such tough, work-weary souls. Now," Augustus sat up straight as he picked up a quill pen, dipping the tip into ink, "I believe that I have a few matters to attend to, such as filling out your paperwork so as the town has a record of you."

"A record of me? Why?" John cocked his head to the side with a small smirk. "Hope it's nothing bad."

Augustus chuckled, "of you, John Smith? One would think you… godly."

Thomas wanted to sink into the floor as he felt his face flush once more.

----Yey for quick transition!------------------------------

"What a strange man!" John mused as he and Thomas left the governor's building. Thomas hoped that the flush on his cheeks had subsided. But he was thankful nonetheless. John didn't seem to detect that anything was wrong with him, and truth be told, an hour by himself helped settle his jealous anxiety.

Thomas gave a smile to John, "most of us think that he's not from England, but some underground world." The laugh that came out of John Smith made Thomas' smile brighter. It was music to hear.

"And what's so funny, John Smith?" Pocahontas smiled to him and Thomas looked over. Ah, of course. She must had been waiting for John outside of the house. The man ignored the sudden tightness his heart was experiencing.

"Nothing in particular," John smiled to her as he gave Thomas' shoulder another clap, and Thomas faltered once again. "Just catching up with my good friend here. Right Thomas?" Thomas nodded, grinning to him.

"Well, come on," Pocahontas took John's hand and began to lead him towards the exit of the town. "My tribe will want to see you again." Thomas though vaguely that Pocahontas' smile was so wide, that her face might remain permanently happy. John grinned to her, laughing.

"Okay, okay. I'll see you when I get back, alright Thomas?" he gave a wave to Thomas as he followed Pocahontas eagerly. The young man returned the wave with a smile and a sinking heart.

"Oi, John Smith!" one of the men spoke up from across the center of town. "Where ye think yer headin' off ta?"

"I'll be back, promise!" John grinned to him, waving. The man saw Pocahontas pulling John and gave him a grin back. Thomas watched this and felt his anxiety return almost full force.

Lovers. They were lovers. He had to face this, and stop mulling on it! Thomas gave a growl as he grabbed his hat off of his head and ran his hand though his hair. He blinked and brought his hand to his front, rubbing his fingers together. An eerie sense of déjà vu came over him as he realized his hair was greasy.

But… that was the dream. This was real. Besides, in his dream it was nighttime, and he was out on patrol. Thomas looked about himself in the broad daylight. He sighed, closing his eyes. He'll take a bath at dusk. Unlike the other men, he still felt slightly shy about bathing in the daytime.

"Thomas, this house ain't gunna build itself!"

Thomas put back on his hat, wiping his hand on his pant leg, "coming!"

----Yey for possible future fanservice!-----------------------

The uproar was insane.

The men had betted that William couldn't out-drink the best drinker in the settlement, John Smith. William took on that bet, along with an amused John Smith. The two began their drinking contest, sitting down in front of a warm campfire. The sun was setting, casting everything in a warm darkness.

As William fell back from his 5th cup of brandy, the men cheered loudly for John, lifting the older man onto their shoulders. Thomas laughed from the sidelines along with others. William couldn't hold his liquor to save his life. John fisted the air joyfully, enjoying the welcome celebration thoroughly.

Thomas had watched him all throughout the evening, ever since the man had returned from Pocahontas' village. John had told Thomas privately that she wanted to stay, but he knew that the men would've wanted to drink all night. Definitely not a friendly atmosphere for a woman.

Thomas found himself smiling softly. John was so gentile, wanting to protect his love like that. The red-head's smile faded as he silently left the loud party. It was hard to smile and cheer. He tried his best to remain happy, knowing that John Smith was here, _here _in Jamestown.

But for some reason, he just couldn't smile once he thought of John and Pocahontas. The young man clenched his teeth as he closed his eyes. They were his friends, he should be supportive!

'Ever since that damn dream, I can't be happy for them!' he angrily thought as he walked back to his tent. He picked up his small bucket to assist him with his bath. He still didn't drink, despite being pressured by the men to do so. A party like this would just end up getting carried away, and most everyone would find the dirt floor as their beds. He sighed heavily as he exited the tent and began to walk towards a small stream.

'This is his first day back,' Thomas reminded himself. 'Of course I'll be jealous of-' He jerked, eyes widening. No! He wasn't jealous! That was wrong, against every moral code that God Himself placed on this world for English gentlemen to obey! The man gave an anguished sigh, ambling along the path unhappily.

Loving another man was sick and wrong. And yet, Thomas couldn't stop his feelings. As he reached the stream and began to undress, the young man bitterly wondered if anyone else had his problem.

'What if I'm the only one like this? The only… perversion in God's good world?' His thoughts made him feel even more depressed as he entered the cool water, the soap in his hand. The sun's final rays still lit the sky, but thankfully it was the moon that lit the clearing. Thomas looked around himself, at the peacefulness of the forest and listened to the nighttime creatures.

He ventured further into the water, dipping his head into it. Perhaps when a priest or someone of a holy position came into town, he'd ask for a pardon. The young man raised his head, lathering the soap to cleanse himself.

After making sure that his body didn't stink of sweat and God knows what else, Thomas exited the water and began to dry himself. Despite his earlier allusion, the bath did nothing to qualm his jealousy. But at least, he thought bitterly, he came to terms with it. He was the only perversion here, the only man who loved another man in this world.

'Perhaps if I accept this, I'll finally be at rest with myself. And then, I could smile for Pocahontas and John Smith.' The young man wanted to be happy for them above all else. Those two souls found each other. He smiled as he put on his pants, remembering how John used to sneak out of the settlement to go to Pocahontas. Truly, a man in love.

Once dressed, the young man picked up the bucket and began to head back to the settlement. Out of the clearing and under the trees, he found that seeing was a bit more difficult. Eventually, he could see through the trees the fires of Jamestown, and hear the distant yells and laughter of the drinking men. Tripping a third time over an unseen root, Thomas crashed against the trunk of a tree.

He heaved a sigh, feeling frustrated with himself. "Damn roots…"

"Having trouble there, Thomas?" The young man's eyes widened as he dropped the bucket. That deep, melodic voice couldn't be…

"John?!"

"Heh, do you know another person who talks like me?" John stepped closer and Thomas could vaguely see him through the darkness. What light that could fit through the trees didn't help much either.

Thomas gave a nervous laugh, "'course not, John. There's only one you."

"'Course." John echoed as he took a step closer to Thomas, leaning against the same tree. Thomas tensed as his dream flickered across his mind. He felt his cheeks grow hot as he shook his head. No, no. This was reality, not dream!

"You feelin' alright Thomas? Anythin' wrong?" John's concern did little to make Thomas' erratic heartbeat settle.

………………"_Thomas, you've been really skitty since I've been back. Anythin' wrong?"…………._

'My dream?! But-'

"Thomas," John placed a hand on his shoulder, and stepped in front of him. Thomas stared at him with wide eyes, jaw slightly slack. John's body was so close…

"I-I'm fine," he breathed, pressing himself against the tree. 'This can't be real, this can't be real…'

"You sure?" John lifted a hand, placing the back of it against Thomas' cheek and forehead. "You feel hot… and you're trembling?" He arched a brow as Thomas swallowed nervously, his fingers anxiously picking off the bark of the tree supporting him.

"Ju-Just nerv- I-I mean cold… I'm just cold, John," Thomas avoided looking at John. The older man was silent and Thomas could feel his beautiful blue eyes staring at him intently.

"Sure, cold…" he muttered. "Thomas, I know you. We're friends, right?"

"Yes, friends…" Saying that helped him settle a bit. Right, John just thought of him as a friend. He loved Pocahontas, not Thomas. The young man eased his fingers against the trunk, no longer picking at the bark.

"Almost brothers." Okay, he might love Thomas as a brother then. Thomas felt his trembling ease as he nodded, feeling less nervous. Brotherly love wasn't wrong.

"Yes, brothers…" he repeated, closing his eyes and feeling the anxiety leave him slowly.

"So I know when something's wrong. You've been staring at me." John paused, "all day in fact." Thomas' eyes snapped open as his calm heart suddenly panicked. John noticed, just as the Dream John noticed!

"I-I have?" he squeaked out as John seemed to come closer to him.

"It's just because you've missed me, isn't it?" John asked and Thomas felt his heart skip a beat. The question sounded as if John wanted to be reassured… The young man slowly turned his head, surprised to see John so close. Unwillingly, his eyes focused on John's lips, which were set in a firm line. They were slightly chapped, probably from the voyage. Regardless, Thomas felt the dire need to kiss him.

"Yes…" he whispered, licking his dry lips nervously. "Because I've… missed you." John smiled a little and Thomas felt that dire increase tenfold.

Without thinking, he moved forward to place his lips against his friend's softly. Thomas quickly pulled away, however, his eyes wide. He didn't breathe, staring into John's shocked blue eyes. The two didn't seem to move for a while.

'You just kissed him.' When Thomas realized this, he quickly shoved at John and moved to bolt away. But the man was stronger than he was, and quickly grabbed his shoulder, shoving him roughly against the tree.

Thomas winced as his back made impact and looked at John's face, terrified. The blond was looking at the ground, his chest seeming to rise and fall at a normal pace as opposed to Thomas' irregular breathing pattern.

John finally lifted his head and Thomas immediately looked away. He didn't want to look at his friend, to see what kind of expression would be there. But he felt a hand take his chin and gently turn him to face his fear. Out of surprise, Thomas kept his eyes open. John turned his head to look at him, and the young man was surprised to see that John's face was placid. Not full of hatred or disgust.

"Is that how you feel?" his husky voice whispered and Thomas found himself nodding. He couldn't bring himself to deny it. John slowly released his hold on Thomas' chin as he patted the man's shoulder. The blond straightened, releasing his grip on Thomas' shoulder. Thomas stared up at him, his hand holding the shoulder that John had so roughly grabbed. He opened his mouth several times, but John held up a hand. The young man obeyed the silent command and closed his mouth.

"Thomas… I meant what I said. You are like a brother to me," John looked to him, making eye contact with the frightened individual. "But I can't return your feelings. You know this."

Thomas hated how his throat tightened, giving a nod to John. "Yes… I've known. I've-I've known… I've known." He couldn't think of saying something else. John gave him a sympathetic smile as he leaned over to kiss Thomas' lips gently. This kiss lasted a bit longer than the first and Thomas closed his eyes to savor it. As John pulled away, the man stepped back and picked up the bucket off of the forest floor. Thomas watched him before also moving away from the tree. For some reason, he felt… better.

"I'm sorry," he whispered, holding out a hand to take the bucket from John. John smiled to him, handing Thomas the item.

"Don't be. That's your feelings." Thomas felt John studying his face as he stared at the bucket. Being rejected hurt, but John knew how he felt. It settled his nervousness and made him feel more at ease. John knew, and he still loved him like a brother. Thomas found himself smiling as he looked to John.

"I…" he paused, shifting a bit. He thought for a moment, and knew what to say. Thomas reached out, patting John's arm. "Thank you, John." For not hating me.

John's smile was still as charming as ever as he replied, "you're welcome. Though, you know Thomas…" He began to walk back to the fort, but at a slowed pace. Thomas walked beside him, looking at John curiously.

"What?"

"You aren't the first one." Thomas' jaw fell open as he stared at John. He wasn't the only one? He wasn't the only perversion on God's earth? The young man felt a small sense of relief as he smiled a little.

"I-I'm not?" he asked, giving John a shy look. John was still smiling, still not hating him.

The man shook his head, "nope. I've traveled all over the world, Thomas. There's quite a few eccentric people out there… Boring folk, most of them." Thomas laughed loudly, perhaps a bit too loudly. John didn't seem to mind though as the two friends began to joke and talk with each other, heading back to Jamestown side by side.

Mnyar--------------------

Should I continue this? To me, this feels like a nice ending… We have the gov. being creepy, John still loves Thomas, and Thomas has come to terms with his feelings…

What's your input?


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